


Brevity is the Soul of Wit

by bofurrific



Series: Hobbit Drabbles [57]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Gen, M/M, Thorin is a long-winded motherfucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:31:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bofurrific/pseuds/bofurrific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kink Meme Fill</p><p>Thorin never shuts up.</p><p>or: Five people who couldn't get Thorin to stop talking and one who did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brevity is the Soul of Wit

1\. Fili and Kili

Fili and Kili don't remember what they've done wrong, but whatever it was, they vow never to do it again. Uncle Thorin is still lecturing them two hours after the fact. Kili is leaning heavily into his brother's side and trying desperately to stay awake, and Fili is blinking in an effort to keep his eyes open, and still Thorin drones on. He's saying something about staining the line of Durin with their actions, that just because they don't have thrones it doesn't mean they can act like common hooligans. 

It is Dís who saves them, and just in time as Kili's valiant effort to stave off sleep fails him and he slumps against Fili's shoulder, coming looking for her sons and finds Thorin still ranting at them. She thanks her brother, who huffs at being cut off, but lets his sister shove her youngest into his arms to carry him off to bed.

\---

2\. Dwalin

Thror had been a king of battle speeches. The march into Moria upon the orcs who had overtaken it was a dreary one, a suicide mission and they all knew it, but when Thror stood strong in the front of their ranks, sword drawn, his words bleed into the hearts of the dwarves and their cries joined his as they roared into battle.

Thorin was not so gifted. As fiercely as Dwalin loved and honoured his king, it seemed to the warrior that the battle would be over before Thorin ever stopped talking. He wasn't really even making a point, just rambling on about honour and duty, and the core of the words struck home, but it was buried so beneath unneeded flowery language and Balin's less-than-subtle clearing of his throat was not getting through to the king.

But there is a chance that none of them will live to see morning, so Dwalin lets Thorin warble on to his heart's content.

\---

3\. Nori

The worst thing about being arrested in the blue mountains isn't that his brothers live nearby and will be mortified that he again been caught, or that Dwalin his knuckles and chuckling behind him that he's snatched up the thief once more, but the speeches Thorin gives him every time.

Nori groans when Dwalin's hand fists in his tunic and hauls him from the stand from which he'd been filching a bag of coins, and he knows the warrior is smirking when he tosses Nori before Thorin's awaiting chair, and how anyone can sit on a rickety wooden stool like a throne, Nori will never know.

The thief tunes Thorin out, like he does every time, but after an hour the hard stone is hurting his knees and he snarls that it would be more merciful of a death to have him drawn and quartered. Thorin's eyes narrow and his nostrils flare, but his mouth stops moving and Nori almost sighs in relief when he is thrown into a cell and welcomes the blessed silence of it.

\---

4\. Thranduil

Thranduil regrets ordering his guards to remove the gag from Thorin's lips. He understands now why they put it there in the first place, despite his orders to treat the dwarf prince well.

He also learns that no matter how many times he asks what Thorin and his company are doing in his woods, they dwarf only spouts off in rants about his hatred for elves, his superiority to them and casts shame on his house for his treatment of them.

Thranduil sighs and sends him back to his cell, still grumbling, and learns nothing.

\---

5\. Beorn

Beorn has never been thanked for his hospitality quite so superfluously. He's also rather surprised that such a little body can hold so much air. The skinchanger has cleaned his plate twice over and still the little dwarf's lips are moving, and he shakes his mane of a head and pushes more food toward the king, in the hopes of filling his mouth with things other than words.

\---

+1 Bilbo

It takes twenty minutes for Bilbo to realize that Thorin is trying to apologize to him. He's been waffling on for nearly half an hour and he is just getting around to admitting he was wrong to threaten Bilbo's life and to banish him over the Arkenstone, but no one could guess that there was an apology in that blanket of words.

Bilbo watches the king fluster, half listening to his droning, before he sighs, takes Thorin's tunic in his grasp, and pulls him into a kiss.

At least he stops talking.


End file.
